A resentment is always about what someone or something has done to us. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters. The text and page numbers are the same in both the 3rd edition and 4th edition of the big book. We asked god to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. If you have a resentment you want to be free of 3rd edition page 552, 4th edition page. Page 552, 4th edition someone was having a problem with resentment in the meeting this morning in stepchat, and i told them to read this as i was told to and it helped me. We are challenged to pray for them, every day for two weeks, and to pray even when we dont mean it. Core character defects 4 study from the bottom of page 63 to the end of page 65 and. The step 4 inventory starts by looking at resentment, which the big book describes as the number one offender when it comes to blockage in recovery 64. However, im not quite sure how i should approach the step four now. According to the writer of that big book chapter, they had held a deep resentment towards someone. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore.
Is it possible that the more we have them, the more we are moving toward our next drink, since we have used alcohol before to help us deal with them. It generated a lot of discussion, because weve all had them and they have created all sorts of havoc for us. Page 64 it is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility. And remember that many forms of addiction left unchecked are fatal. The big book has given me that comfort and the push to move forward.
Heres what the big book has to say about it, in part. In addition to the title alcoholics anonymous, this page indicates that the book is the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. Politics, resentments, and lovingkindness by jamie marich. They prove to almost anyones satisfaction that its never too late to try alcoholics anonymous.
All references to the topics will be found in the first 164 pages of the book, alcoholics anonymous. The explicit musts found in alcoholics anonymous 3rd. The 164 and more book, ebook, and web site are all concordances which display passages from the big book alcoholics anonymous, the twelve steps and twelve traditions, and the a. A suggestion of this method appears in the story freedom from bondage in the big book p. We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.
I did step four using the forms from the website and said all the prayers in regards to the resentments, fear and sex conduct. When i am disturbed, it is because i find some person, place, thing, or situation some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and i can find no serenity until i accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to. Oct 1, 2016 on page 552 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous their basic text, there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of resentments. Aa big book appendix v edward dowling episcopal magazine the living church john d. These instructions are for the below prayer big book, freedom from bondage, p. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to.
Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and 12. This prayer comes from the chapter to the agnostic, primarily pages 47 and 48. On page 552 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous their basic text, there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of resentments towards a person. On page 552 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous their basic text, there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of. My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. Overcoming resentment resentment hurts me most, is a saying often heard in 12step recovery meetings. Anger first comes on in a flash of bright fire, and, if left to develop over time, fades into a seething volatile substance. Struggling with this resentment, or maybe just super self. Aa big book 4th edition alcoholics anonymous edinburgh.
If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. Fourth step guide pages in adobe acrobat pdf format the jaywalker 4th step guide pages out of the big book awakening 12 step workbook book. Thank you god for your help and strength with this resentment. You can use any of our indexes with either edition. Aa big book big book of aa alcoholics anonymous doctors opinion how it works aa preamble alcoholism recovery 4th edition 3rd edition 2nd edition alcohol allergy rehabilitation of alcoholics dr. I mentioned on my recent radio show the healing power of prayer that i would post the big book s resentment prayer. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the. Its unfortunate for those who have taken half measures, but i would be willing to put my hand out to them when they return. Then i decided to start this step study as i wanted to go through the steps the big book way. Thats the way my drinking began, as a way to make the pain go away.
Big book acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. If we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of conflict. The suggestion is that we pray that everything you want for yourself be given to them their health, their prosperity, their happiness. Jun 18, 2006 we began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. The amount of willpower exercised to control my drinking during working hours, diverted into a con structive channel, would have made me president, and the. Aug 24, 2014 on page 552 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous their basic text, there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of resentments towards a person.
The twelve step prayers were created using the text of the big book of. I can watch my serenity level rise when i discard my expectations. Page 66 it is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to unhappiness page 66. Take your inspiration with you each day with the aa resentment verse card. I have been working in addiction treatment for the past 14 years and i have seen many alcoholics and addicts who were unable to maintain their sobriety because they were still carrying resentments. Recoveryshop has many 12 step recovery programs verse cards including quotes from alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, and many more. Resources for panic attacks and anxiety disorder i woke up angry as hell today. Step four prayer freedom from resentment step 4 of the 12. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.
Quoted from alcoholics anonymous the big book, page 65. Its unfortunate for those who have taken half measures, but i would be willing to put my hand out to them when they. Big book sexual inventory page 69 5940 12 steps of aa with father martin chalk talk 5362 is resentment the number one offender. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, big book page 64. There is comfort in knowing you arent alone, that what youre feeling isnt unusual, and that there is a solution. So i figured i would post it here so i have it handy. Page 552 of the big book if you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. Expectations are premeditated resentments soberrecovery.
In that state, the wrongdoing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. Page 552 after all this, it cant be denied that the big book paints a really definite picture of the result of holding resentments. Resentment is the number one offender bill wilson cofounder of alcoholics anonymous wrote the phrase resentment is the number one offender in the big book. The woman quoted above in the big book discovered another way to end her most deepseated resentment. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and. The text used to develop the prayers are shown at the end of the prayer in parenthesis. I resemble that remark in mondays big book study, we were reading about step 4, so the big topic of the evening was resentments. It is sometimes enough just to become aware that you are the one being hurt by the resentment, and that often the resented person doesnt even know how you feel. You might eventually word that in your own way, but here is some related action many of us have taken to begin. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. These forms of self grew into resentments and fears.
Page 552 third and fourth edition of the big book contains a suggestion for dealing with resentments about people that we find overwhelmingly difficult to overcome. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and more concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either alcoholics anonymous. The process, proven to be a lifesaver by these people, also enables. The numbers in parenthesis at the end of each prayer indicate the page and. If you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will. We suggest also that the myriad of resentments which swirl around our minds in early recovery are also negative emotions unprocessed and thus unregulated from the past. Since the first edition appeared, in 1939, it has helped millions of men and women recover from alcoholism. The big book and aa as a whole do not take resentments lightly. We especially ask for freedom from selfwill, and are careful to make no requests for ourselves only we may ask for ourselves, however, if. The prescribed solution, often read as the classic page 552, is to pray for the person or the thing that you resent.
Oct 26, 2014 it says in the big book that resentment is the number one offender. Dealing with resentment, the number one offender duffy. Resentment, of course, is any kind of lingering anger the residue of old hurts, disagreements, and frustrations. Resentments are part of our spiritual illness and our illness is fatal. The 24hour plan page 5 and first things first page 32 have helped many of us cope with such a rage, although we didnt see how they possibly could until we actually tried themand got surprisingly good results. In the big book of alcoholics anonymous in the chapter how it works it states we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. The symbol indicates a reference to a page where the subject is discussed but not mentioned directly. He said, in effect if you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing.
He said, in effect if you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. All the indexes we publish are for the 1st 164 pages the main text. We all agreed thats what resentments can feel like. The big book gives us another powerful example of how to use prayer to soften our heart toward the people we resent. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves reading. Twelve steps to live without resentment hazelden betty. It is called resentment, the number one offender, according to page 46 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. The big book s way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67 instructions. Notice that part about peace of mind in exact proportion to the peace of mind we bring into the lives of other people. It destroys more alcoholics and addicts than anything else. Read freedom from bondage in the big book starting on page 544 in either the 4th or the 3rd edition. These truncated passages from the big book 1 and the 12 and 12 3 illustrates how resentments cause relapse and that they need to by treated with the antidote of forgiveness.
Sep 10, 2014 someone was having a problem with resentment in the meeting this morning in stepchat, and i told them to read this as i was told to and it helped me. When i am disturbed, it is because i find some person, place, thing or situation some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and i can find no serenity until i accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to. Resentment is the number one offender recovery from addictions. The twelve step prayers were created using the text of the big book of alcoholics anonymous. The big books way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67 instructions. On the same page of the big book, page 64, it explains the resentment is the number one offender.
The story is titled freedom from bondage i have the 3rd edition of the aa big book. My resentments my character defects resentment prayer on page. Remember the solution to holding a resentment is found on page 552. Write write about one or more resentments or about your reflections on the readings. Resentment in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free.
May 12, 2016 as an alcoholic we find that resentment is the number one offender to a serene and peaceful life. Page 67 of the book, alcoholics anonymous, states, resentment is the number one offender. Put the first number and name of your resentment on the page. Politics, resentments, and lovingkindness by jamie. Work the steps, accept that you are an alcoholic, accept the this world is exactly the way. Big book sexual inventory page 69 recovery farmhouse. A person mired in resentment has scant chances of recovering from addiction. Your attention is directed to the use of the word recovered. Changes made to the big book for the fourth edition familiar passages doctors opinion. Learning the process of overcoming resentment literally saves the lives of people who are afflicted with the disease of alcoholism. The page 552 prayer to end resentments sober catholic.
But then my rights try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. Resentment inventory prompt sheet here is a list of people, institutions and principles that may be helpful in your resentment inventory. Our step 4 turnaround is returning us to our proper orientation, back from our isolation. Alcoholism expectations are premeditated resentments i heard this at an aa meeting tonight and it hit home. The big book explains that we must make a list that includes all our resentments we have and have ever had, an account of sexual conduct and our fears.
Resentments in big book alcoholics anonymous, 12 steps and. The wisdom from the big book isnt limited to 10 quotes. Jun 08, 2010 the resentment prayer is located at the end of a personal story in the back of the big book. The page 552 prayer to end resentments posted by paulcoholic on 24 august 2014, 6. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. Aa history what does the bigbook say about resentment. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and more concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either alcoholics. Sometimes, it isnt long resentment we must deal with, but a sudden, consuming rage. These resentments and fears developed when people and situations didnt go our way. My hope is that these prayers will provide a framework for you to develop your own or expand on the wording below.
Big book personal stories part iii they lost nearly all. If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will. That means it will get us drunk or high before any other emotion. We are challenged to pray for them, every day for two weeks, and to. Many times the only thing that keeps us from being free of resentments is the fear of being without them. Big book personal stories part iii they lost nearly. Is it possible that the more we have them, the more we are moving toward our next drink, since we have used alcohol.
Bottom line is that he and i are one in this spiritual experience called life on earth. But, in opposition we can only encourage world war 3. This is the fourth edition of the big book, the basic text for alcoholics anonymous. These are intended for further study and should not be taken out of context. The big book of alcoholics anonymous says resentment is the number one offender p. Home read the big book and twelve steps and twelve traditions alcoholics anonymous alcoholics anonymous this is the fourth edition of the big book, the basic text for alcoholics anonymous. When we harbor these resentments we let others dominate us since they are occupying our minds and make us feel bad about ourselves and others.
Twelve steps to live without resentment hazelden betty ford. Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love. Aa recognizes that resentment is toxic to our inner lives. The big book of alcoholics anonymous describes resentments as our number one offender. Its words and interpretations are left up to the reader to use as they choose. There were 4 musts in the first and second editions of.
The page 552 prayer to end resentments lent, prayers. The big book has given me that comfort and the push to. Overcoming resentment is essential in order to achieve true peace of mind and happiness. We are given tools to do this through a close and inquiring reading of step 4 in the big book. The explicit musts of the big book page 1 the explicit musts found in alcoholics anonymous 3rd.
Re, meaning again, andsentment, which like, sentiment, means to. People in the twelve step program ask a higher power for help in letting resentments go. Core character defects 4 study from the bottom of page 63 to the end of page 65 and then follow its instructions. The resentment prayer is located at the end of a personal story in the back of the big book. I went to check on a recent order i had made online. The big books way to be rid of resentment pages 63 67. Jun 04, 2015 the resentment prayer i found that in compiling my fourth step resentment list, the best way to deal with resentment was to pray for and forgive those on my list. If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person.